Are you sick of people trying to fix you?
I'M ON THE WARPATH!
I’m on a bazillion e-mail lists––I swear, they must reproduce in the night. Every day, I get ecstatic emails from about ten people with some new system or formula they’ve just learned about that will FIX ME. Or MAKE ME HAPPIER, MORE FULFILLED, BRING ME THE SECRET OF MY DREAMS, the dreams I haven’t DARED TO DREAM BEFORE.
All I have to do is sign up or listen to a free teleseminar, where I will be seduced into signing up.
Thing is, I ain’t broke. I’m happy, fine, doing well, I don’t need anybody’s friggin’ system to fix me––and I resent these self-appointed gurus assuming they have the right to make the offer. (I have a real guru, and she doesn’t sound like that at all.)
There’s more. I have an MA in Marriage, Family, & Child Counseling from Santa Clara University. I worked had getting that degree and did very well. I began my meditation practice in 1975 and have worked hard in the inner and outer worlds to make my spiritual self the one that runs things. I’ve had three or four professional careers that taught me to exercise my brain and will, and personal skills. The challenges I’ve dealt with myself––cancer and my leg falling apart, for a couple––and in my family have strengthened and tempered my soul.
I know both from a professional, theoretical standpoint and from the work I’ve done on my self that the so called miracle transformation in 30 days or less doesn’t exist.
I know for a fact how hard it is to change, barring acts of God and grace, and how stupid these Get Enlightened Fast schemes are.
There’s no easy way, folks. No fast track to a magic life. You slog through in the trenches, day by day. That’s where the breakthroughs occur, as St. Teresa of Avila pointed out. Daily life is the ground of spiritual transformation.
Read St. John of the Cross, St. Theresa of Avila, Julian of Norwich, Rumi, Mirabai. No easy, sign up now and be free trip will take you where you want to go.
Here’s my promise: I WILL NEVER ATTEMPT TO FIX YOU. You’re fine right where you are, just as you are. And so am I. I’m going to get off all those stupid mailing lists starting now.
This is the first Sandy Nathan discussion post from my Amazon Author Page.
You can read the original on Amazon through either of the links above.
COMING SOON: LOWERED EXPECTATIONS!
July 19th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Hello - My name is Lawrence Gist (”Lance” informally) and I recently learned of a fully funded writing workshop in New York. Eligibility for the workshop is limited to African American, Asian, Hispanic, and Native American writers. I thought you might want to take a look at the program and distribute the information to some of the up-and-coming writers you know or have the means to contact.
I wrote a short Los Angeles Examiner piece about the workshop which you may find under the title: “Fully Funded Writers Workshop in New York for Minority Writers” at http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-16503-LA-County-Foreign-Policy-Examiner~y2009m7d19-Fully-Funded-Writers-Workshop-in-New-York-for-Minority-Writers
Thanks and I hope the information proves to be of help to someone in your circle of friends.
In Peace and Justice,
Lance
July 21st, 2009 at 1:40 am
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July 28th, 2009 at 9:36 am
You are absolutely right about one thing: There is NO such thing as an overnight success. What I say instead is there is merely overnight “news.” For a person to change, to learn to discover their ‘balance’, or ‘peace’ or ‘joy’, especially in relation to trials and struggles…it takes time. Yes, I believe people can turn away from particular habits which bring them emotional/spiritual/physical harm, but to become truly free of something takes time. It’s ironic, I am lecturing and finalizing my new book, which (you could say) offers people something similar to what you expressed in this article. I suppose its my approach that makes me different??? I am not trying to solicit people to “cure” them or “fix” them so much as I am trying to share something that helped me, which I believe can become a benefit to others.
Great post Sandy!
July 28th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Thanks for the great comment. Your approach is way different than the folks who do a seminar and then set themselves up as experts. My experience is that true expertise in facilitating or supporting growth in ourselves and others comes from mastering one’s own weaknesses, traumas, wounds. The hallmarks of true experts are humility and kindness. And not jumping in to try and fix things without being asked. (One of my professors getting my MA in counseling emphasized that.)
A physical therapist I went to once said there’s no such thing as a back “going out.” It’s always a matter of strains and tears adding up over time. I think spiritual growth is sort of similar, in a reverse way. Difficult/negative situations exist and keep coming up for a long time. If the individual is listening and doing spiritual practice, when the inevitable meltdown occurs, HUGE steps forward can happen. It’s a matter of grace and self effort working together. God’s ready to step in, we just have to be ready to do what we’re told.
Thanks for reading, my friend!